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Public Service Announcement: Christmas has been cancelled (Joke)?

Question by Solid Snake (formerly βling βling™): Public Service Announcement: Christmas has been cancelled (Joke)?
Public service announcement:

The elves have gone on strike due to no dental benefits, discrimination based on abnormal body parts (long ears, height, etc.), poor working conditions, long hours and the fact that they’re always booked Christmas eve. Thus we are behind on present production.

PETA complained to Santa that the reindeer were being overworked, underfed and working long shifts. They also complained that their retirement was nowhere in sight and that they have not received any promotions since 1267. They are in custoday of PETA until February, when Santa will go to court to gain back custody.

Also, non-Christian neighbors have complained about noise disturbances at night as well as partially broken chimneys after Christmas eve. Some citizens have launched lawsuits against santa and have thus reduced his funds to produce enough toys for children. 

Like many Americans these days, Santa was not able to pay back the mortgage on his factory. He sunk in debt and hid factory has since been foreclosed, while Santa is attempting to work out a lease agreement with the Inuits of the Canadian arctic. This will take anywhere from 3-8 weeks.

Lastly, many parents have spoken out against Santa about he promotes childhood obesity like it’s a good thing and how he always leaves cookie crumbs on the floor. Some have even gone so far as to say that they are forced to turn out the fire in their chimneys when it is their only source of warmth for the night. 

Due to all of this stress, Santa has started drinking heavily and was recently arrested for DUI. His license has been suspended and his hearing date is set for April 2011.

Signed,
North Pole Public Relations
10 Snowy Avenue
Postal code: H0H 0H0
1-800-COMMERCIALIZE-THE-HOLIDAYS

Please star if you find this amusing it took me a long time to write =)

Best answer:

Answer by I CANT HEAR U
Yes, I’m glad it was canceled. I’m the Grinch- Who do you think caused all this havoc?

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