Mother is beating the children? I’m 23, what do I do?
Question by : Mother is beating the children? I’m 23, what do I do?
I have just returned home after travelling for 2 years (2 weeks ago) and prior to that I was at university for 3 years with a month between the two. I used to pay for the train so my siblings could stay with me during the holidays whilst at uni
I have a younger brother and sister, 10 an 14 respectively and have noticed lot of old bruises and scars on them. After questioning them it turns out my mum has been hitting them, biting them and generally flying off the wall.
I chose a uni 500 miles away and didn’t come back for years because I feel she is bi-polar and she has all the signs of it but wont go and see a doctor. High as a kite and the nicest person you will ever meet who will promise you the world 40 percent of the time and manically depressed, irrational, disgruntled and violent the other 60 percent.
Our dad is not in the picture anymore, but let it be known we are all good children. I was awarded a scholorship to a private school and went to a very good university, my sister wants to do medicine with the grades to make it more than feasible and my brother is on the young and gifted register. I dont do drugs, stable relationship and am very grounded.
My mum beat me very violently as a child, cigarette burns, broken arm and ribs and a 34 stich scar on my head after she repeatedly thrust my head on the cooker for not refilling the ice cube tray
But…. all of these seemed to stop when at 16 I said to myself that I wouldn’t put up with it anymore and when she tried to attack me i threw her across the floor and held her down for an hour until she calmed down. I’m well built (play rugby) and hadn’t touched her until then out of respect. Magically she stopped the violence after that, i kept to myself and we bot just remained amicable.
But now i’m home i’ve found out she’s hitting the children again… one very deep and serious bite mark on my brothers arm says it all. this happened recently and she made my brother promise (through violence) that he wouldn’t show me and wear long t-shirts.
what do i do? i’m not in a position to whisk the kids away for a fairytale life since I have only been back for 2 weeks and haven’t even had a paycheck yet… have to wait for the 1st but even then I sold everything before I went travelling so literally have 2 suits to my name.
and i dont know if my girlfriend (of 4 years) is prepared to become some sort of surrogate parent to them
what do i do?
there is no other adult/family in the picture.
i’d only found out an hour ago and have taken the week off work, this is the first step to see what i should do
my mum wont be back till sunday…. she’s going to the seaside for whatever reason her bipolar brain has thought of
Best answer:
Answer by ilovepenguins:)
Call child services.
Know better? Leave your own answer in the comments!
Find out if there is another family member they can live with, a grandma or aunt! Call Child Service.
ask ur girlfriend if she would help, it sounds to me that those children need to get out before they get killed. i’m sorry if i sound rude but i am thinking bout the kids. those kids need you and i think that you should teach them to defend themselves. hope my answer helped
This sounds really extreme, and I’d call the police. I know she’s your mother and all, but she’s putting your siblings in danger and it will probably only get worse. Is there a grandmother that can have custody over them? Maybe an aunt or another close relative? I feel so bad reading this and hearing your situation, and i really hope something works out for your siblings. Call the police, please.
I hope i helped
You don’t have a choice.. Have them removed from the home and live with another relative until you get your sh*t together and then can go get them.
these children need help, so does yout mother, perhaps she has to be detained for a while as she is a threat to others and probably herself, you are the adult now, step in, give your mother a good stern talking to, and tell her you wont stand for her behaviour, she sounds like a complete bully if she only hits her children when they are under 16, so she can controll it then? Call the police, get her charged for assault.
call the police/lawyers
You know you have to get these children away from your mother. If you are not in the position to do it please call children’s services like today. You are an adult now and I am so sorry that this happened to you as a child, but as an adult if you know there is abuse going on and don’t protect your siblings you will be just as much at fault as the abuser. She could have killed you when she knocked your head against the cooker. If she should happen to kill your brother or sister will your excuse be that you didn’t have any clothes or money? No, so do what needs done. I am sorry if I sound harsh I don’t intend to, but I can see that you want to help and are just using excuses to not get to involved.
i wouldn’t do anything drastic like taking them.she could have you arrested.do it quietly and legally.take them to the dr.while your mom is away.tell the dr. what is going on,not in front of the kids.get people with some power on your side.take pics of their scars etc…
Omg this is horrible, she is one of the worst moms I have heard of. Biting her kids? I hope someone bites her freakin head off. Anyway, if I were you, I would call child protective services and have those kids put into a foster home. They would be better off there than with your insane mom.
This is very serious, if i was you i would call the police. Your mother is in obvious need of serious help and in the long run you will be helping her. I know she is your mother but she is harming her children. No person in the world should harm a child whether the child was their own or not.
I would call Childline…they would definitely arrange something for you like you said, you haven’t got the finances to look after them.
And as for you girlfriend becoming a surrogate….i wouldn’t worry to much about it, if you have been together for 4 years, then i should imagine she would give you her full support. I don’t think the children would want any kind of parent right now, just be the older brother putting their best interests first.
You need to act quickly though, this is not intended to upset you, but one more attack from your mother on those poor children could put them in hospital or even worse.
I think you have to step up and take those kids – but in order to do it you need to get them to tell child services about the abuse.
If you can talk to a lawyer – make sure to tell him that abuse happened when you were home too and you are terribly concerned about your siblings because of current abuse.
If your gf has a problem with this – is she really the right woman for you? She should instantly understand that you have to do something!