How do I get over my abusive ex-boyfriend?
Question by BarbieGirl8: How do I get over my abusive ex-boyfriend?
I dated my ex for a little over 3 years… and he was really awful to me a majority of the time. Don’t get me wrong, there were some good times that kept me coming back but in general he was really an ***. He was a recovering alcoholic and although he didn’t drink he was still very abusive emotionally, verbally and extremely manipulative. I didn’t really understand the impact of it all until I was totally out of the relationship. Looking back on, I am so mad at myself for taking all of his bullying!!! I am having a hard time letting go and getting over it. I feel so cheated. He called me every name possible, I was cussed out on a regular basis,broken up with every other week any time he didn’t get his way and then he would want me back, he would mess with my mind and my self esteem by telling me certain things one day and then telling me something totally opposite the next. (exp: telling me I was gaining weight but then the next telling me I was anorexic) He would get late night phone calls from 18 yr old girls (he’s 30 by the way) and then lock his phone and blow up on me if I questioned what was going on.I also found him looking at prostitutes online! He once told me that he would break up with me if I didn’t get rid of my facebook page because he thought it was stupid. He now has one… that he puts numerous pics of girls up on it and leaves it open to the public… I’m sure he’s hoping he can hurt me with it. He used to call me daily and stress me out to the point of crying, send me pics of him making out with other girls, send me horrible texts saying that karma would get me for breakign up with him etc. He also has anger problems and “accidently” killed my little dog by being too rough with it!! Nothing was ever good enough for him. He would tell me I didn’t buy him good enough gifts at holidays or spend enough money on him. I was constantly doing a bulk of the work in the relationship (as in I always had to drive to his place, hang out with his friends, do things with his family, etc) He even threatened to break up with me if he didn’t get sex everyday when he wanted. There were sooooooo many other terrible things. There isn’t even enough room to type them all. I feel BRAINWASHED. Why can’t I get over this guy??? He was horrible and my family and friends knew he was bad news and told me regularly. How can I let this go and move on? I’m seeing a really great guy now who is the polar opposite of my ex and i don’t want my baggage to ruin anything…. HELP!
Best answer:
Answer by Beccabear68
i didnt read all of it but you do deserve alot better, you shouldnt have to deal with him no should.
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Ok, please take this the way it’s intended, because it will sound mean but it isn’t. Anyone who stays with a guy after that guy kills her little dog is almost as sick as the piece of crap who killed it. In other words, you don’t say how long it’s been since this ended, but you stand almost no chance for a normal relationship without understanding fully what went wrong in your wiring that you put up with this for so long. Being mad at yourself isn’t enough…especially when you say you’re having trouble getting over him and you feel brainwashed.
It’s that simple. If you don’t take time to fix yourself by finding a good therapist, you will either carry too much baggage into your next relationship (meaning a normal, healthy guy will run from you), or you’ll seek out the same kind of guy. People behave in patterns and the patterns stay the same until the pattern gets broken. You don’t see your pattern yet. And what on earth are you hoping to gain by looking at his facebook page?