How can I let go and get over the anger I still feel towards my ex-boyfriend?
Question by BarbieGirl8: How can I let go and get over the anger I still feel towards my ex-boyfriend?
I dated my ex for a little over 3 years… and he was really awful to me a majority of the time. Don’t get me wrong, there were some good times that kept me coming back but in general he was really an ***. He was a recovering alcoholic and although he didn’t drink he was still very abusive emotionally, verbally and extremely manipulative. I didn’t really understand the impact of it all until I was totally out of the relationship. Looking back on, I am so mad at myself for taking all of his bullying!!! I am having a hard time letting go and getting over it. I feel so cheated. He called me every name possible, I was cussed out on a regular basis,broken up with every other week any time he didn’t get his way and then he would want me back, he would mess with my mind and my self esteem by telling me certain things one day and then telling me something totally opposite the next. (exp: telling me I was gaining weight but then the next telling me I was anorexic) He would get late night phone calls from 18 yr old girls (he’s 30 by the way) and then lock his phone and blow up on me if I questioned what was going on.I also found him looking at prostitutes online! He once told me that he would break up with me if I didn’t get rid of my facebook page because he thought it was stupid. He now has one… that he puts numerous pics of girls up on it and leaves it open to the public… I’m sure he’s hoping he can hurt me with it. He used to call me daily and stress me out to the point of crying, send me pics of him making out with other girls, send me horrible texts saying that karma would get me for breakign up with him etc. He also has anger problems and “accidently” killed my little dog by being too rough with it!! Nothing was ever good enough for him. He would tell me I didn’t buy him good enough gifts at holidays or spend enough money on him. I was constantly doing a bulk of the work in the relationship (as in I always had to drive to his place, hang out with his friends, do things with his family, etc) He even threatened to break up with me if he didn’t get sex everyday when he wanted. There were sooooooo many other terrible things. There isn’t even enough room to type them all. I feel BRAINWASHED. Why can’t I get over this guy??? He was horrible and my family and friends knew he was bad news and told me regularly. How can I let this go and move on? I’m seeing a really great guy now who is the polar opposite of my ex and i don’t want my baggage to ruin anything…. HELP!
Best answer:
Answer by emilette
write how you feel about him dont read it when your done rip it up and throw it away and go out for a run when your done
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sounds like a controll issue
you need to tell him what a loser he is. Dont hold anything back like you would have when you dated him
Oh my!!!! I had a terrible relationship too, it was so awful, thank god yur out of that insane relationship, u deserve so much more, dnt ever put up with that.Reading yur memo made me tear up, all I can say now is be happy, be yur self love yur self and enjoy life. You only have 1 make the best of it.
It is a very terrible relation ship.Leave him and think about your future.
These tips may help you in forgetting him!
Focus on the future
He has consigned you to his past and that is where you should leave your memories. Instead of the past look towards the future. Don’t forget your future will also have a reunion with your ex boyfriend. This is the attitude you should have. So, get up and get going you have a lot to do make that happen.
Learn to live alone
The first thing that you have to do is learn to live alone. There will be no one that will call you or do stuff for you. You will have no one to telephone at the dead of the night and no one to send text messages. Well, look at the brighter side – you will no longer run huge telephone bills.
Look back and learn from the past
Once you have a handle on your emotions look back and analyze what went wrong. Take lessons from your past relationship and promise yourself you will not let that happen ever again.
Ignore him
Now comes the tough part. Once you have collected yourself you will have to move in the same world and that will mean bumping into your ex from time to time. All you have to do is ignore him whenever that happens. However, do it in a confident manner and show no signs of nervousness. He should get the feeling that you are moving on and that will surprise him.
Acquire that wonderful body
The point that we are making is that you should get what you didn’t have in the previous relationship. If you are in shape then change the way you dress and maybe change your hair color or hairstyle. Look more attractive and delicious than when you were with him.
Become popular
Steadily begin climbing the popularity chart amongst both girls and boys. In fact if you become popular amongst the guys your boyfriend will be even more surprised. Have fun and hang out with a dashing group of friends.
I agree with Kristen…. I was in an abusive relationship very similar to what you described, and here are some things I did to move on:
For one, stay super busy. Constantly be with friends or family. Not only will they distract you from the pain, but they will be motivation to continue ignoring him.
Two, change your phone number. Do NOT reply to him online or anything like that. I know it’s soo hard, but communicating is the worst thing you could do. Guys like this have so much game… they will tell you whatever you want to hear to get you back, and you are vulnerable now. Don’t risk it.
Three, be single. I know you say you have a new man who treats you good, and I suppose if you REALLY like him, you can continue trying. But the way I see it, these abusive men really take a toll on your self esteem and how you view relationships. You have been hurt and damaged badly, and you need to restore yourself and find peace within before you can be there for someone new. You’ve got to focus on YOU, and learn to be your own best friend once again. You don’t want to get into the habit of depending on men. Plus, although you may think you like this new guy, it’s probable that he is a rebound (even if you don’t notice consciously). You’re still vulnerable and emotional… fix it before you try to share your soul with another person.
xo,
**Tuff Luv