does anyone live with a bipolar partner, can anyone please help me with advice? is this bipolar?
Question by sunny: does anyone live with a bipolar partner, can anyone please help me with advice? is this bipolar?
Please can anyone help me with advice if you know about bi polar?
Hi, I need some advice and help about my male partner who I live with and have been with for 4 years, we are 29 years old. He knows he has a problem but does not know what but just tells me that he can’t help the way he is and doesn’t want to go down the medication route so therefore we do not have a diagnosis but I believe it to be bi polar.
He sometimes is totally normal, loving, very together with me and sympathetic but sometimes he can have a few days of being suicidal, needing my attention and support 24/7, needs me to constantly reassure him as to how much i’m there for him and how much I love him etc etc and will see the world as a scary and dark place, gets very tired and doesn’t want to socialise. then after these couple of days it will followed by him being on top of the world, will go out without me knowing where he is, doesn’t feel he needs to talk to me, dumps me continuously and tells me our relationship is rubbish and that we should break up, he will act like he doesn’t know me or need me anymore and will say the rudest, obnoxious and arrogant things to me and then doesn’t understand why I get upset, in fact he doesn’t even care that i’m upset. He even goes out and sees other girls behind my back, not in a sexual way but I wouldn’t out this past him when he’s in these moods. There is no reasoning with him when he’s like this – he’s king of the world and screw everyone else.
After this period he normally sees the light and comes crashing back to normality and will apologise and generally be calmer.
Even after 4 years I find these ups and downs very sudden and always as upsetting as the last time they happen.
I’m not looking for relationship advice but does anyone recognise this behaviour? I don’t know what it is but I know it’s chaotic and not normal and leaves me feeling incredible lonely.
thanks for any help
6 hours ago – 4 days left to answer.
Additional Details
can I also add that even though in these periods when he says we should break up – he never does anything about it! We will even carry on with our plans as usual such as weekends away and holidays etc – if you were so unhappy with someone you wouldn’t carry on with plans this all suggests to me that he doesn’t know what he’s saying when he has these “crazy” manic spells, I find the depression easier to deal with but the manic days are just awful.
Best answer:
Answer by Steffen
That is perfect bipolar. It’s somewhat odd that he has manias following depressions… It’s more usual for manias to lead to depressions.
Lithium salt is your friend.
What do you think? Answer below!
He could be bipolar but then he could have the chemical inbalance in his brain. I have both plus panic attacks and depression. He needs to see a doctor. I have change alot since my doctor found out what was wrong with me. Good luck with him.
Myself and my sister have both been diagnosed with bi polar. For me it comes as energy spurts and then lethargic crashes. But my sister…. that’s a different story. Her mood swings will give you whiplash! For a few days she’s fun and out going; some days she’s the biggest B!!!H on earth, very hateful and mean; some days she is so loving that she’ll cry about how much she loves you. She finally started taking lithium and I swear it has saved her life! I am so sorry that your man won’t seek help, it would turn his life around and he would be so happy that he got help. Just don’t let him bring you down and make your life crappy too. You can only help the ones that actually want it.
sounds like it. im bi-polar along with my fiance. its a disease that can be controlled with meds and therapy, only if hes willing to seek it out. be very careful, people tend to do things that they normally wouldnt when manic, and my experience was that it got gradually crazier with each manic episode. it took alot of consequences that i had to suffer before i was finally ready to deal with it. it seems like you care but dont let someone elses disease harm you.
Yes does sound like possible bipolar. Or Borderline personality disorder. They both share very similar symptoms.
However the one thing with either of them, if he is not willing to seek help, treatment, therapy and meds, NOTHING is going to change. Yes he may not be able to control these behaviors if the illness is untreated, but when he is able to see those behaviors as wrong, and know that something is wrong with himself, but he chooses to not to seek treatment, that is his CHOICE to not to fix himself, so that his behavior can be fixed.
Yes meds suck……being on them sucks……NO ONE on meds for these illnesses want to be. But it is the choice to be on them so that behavior isn’t at the mercy of an illness……both to save themselves from the hell the illness can be, plus the loved ones around them from it.
You need to put up boundrys…..what behavior you are willing to put up with and what you are not. If you don’t, and just allow him to continue on this path, then it is going to tear you apart too. Even if it would come to you giving him the ultimatum to see someone, or you end it. That path you are following now is not something that can continue. If he is not willing to change it, and seek help, you must change it somehow, even if it means leaving.
One sad statistic with bipolar, is 90% of marriages that one person has bipolar end in divorce. I would willing to bet anything, that the 10% that survive it do so by starting off with the individual with bipolar doing everything they can to control the illness. The thing with bipolar is if you don’t try to control it, it does control you. And he is the one that needs to control it, you cant do that for him.
I have to agree with JG. I need my husband’s trust that I’ll do the right thing, take my meds, take care of the kids, take care of the house, etc, but I also need him to be very aware of the signs that my mood is slipping.
I don’t know anyone who can control Bipolar Disorder without meds and/or therapy. And those who don’t get help usually get worse…
It sounds like he is a rapid cycler, which means he cycles through the moods very quickly. This is probably one of the worst types of bipolar to have, because no one ever knows what’s next.
The only way for him to change is to WANT to change, and get the help he needs. I suggest that you encourage him to do so when he’s feeling a bit more “normal”. No one wants to be on meds for the rest of their lives, but after you find the right dose or combo, their lives are so much better.
YOU also need to seek help. You need to learn how to support someone with bipolar, but you also need to learn how to set up boundries. This will save you a lot of heart ache in the long run.
I absolutely wish you the best of luck!
hi! Im 36 and yes I live with a bi polar spouse,Ive been with him for 18 years and married for 4 years.Don’t ask me how I didn’t know something was wrong???I was 17 he was 21 and we partyed pretty hard,the only thing I think back at is his inability to get or keep a job and hes very anti-social.My husband goes from the funnist happiest guy in the worold to the worold is crashing down around him,we have a 7 yr old boy together also,and my or our son notices also.I have to warn you that it will NEVER get better unless he takes meds.AND we went through that and some meds make them worse!!!!!you’ll see.The docs. were saying its add and no attention span but I know it bull….. If your partner takes add meds and gets really weird its a sign of bi-polar disorder.On the bright side he probably qualifys for social security disability,that means he can be around all the time……..YEAH! LOL! Sorry just trying to lightn the mood.Good luck,Im feeling stuck since ive been with him so long and I do love him,maybe you should let go b4 your me,I work full time clean everything shop do sons homework pay all bills and I’m pretty much wiped out.Good luck sweetie,go with your heart!!!!!!!!!