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Please help edit my essay, thanks?

Question by Matt: Please help edit my essay, thanks?
Walls

My parents had this philosophy that we are all walls. So they built me a strong foundation to develop on, hard work the cement, and love and care the water. The water that still quenches my thirst for success today. My parents always told me that hard work was one of the building blocks to success and so I studied hard during school and worked to the best of my ability afterwards.

Like a wall I grew taller, thicker and stronger. When I married I became very protective over my family, safe guarding them from the bulldozers of this world. The big corparates, developed countries that would try break their walls down and steal the ingredients for their own gain. It would have been easy to nurture my children with fast foods but how strong would they stand now, instead I fed them proteins and vegetables to reinforce steel bars into their skeleton to keep them from falling over. I didn’t spoil them or set them free too young, I clipped their wings like a bird to prevent them from going off in the wrong direction.

As I aged my tanned complexion turned a whiter color. My body was lacking minerals and my bones resembled brittle cement. At the age of sixty the bricks in my wall started loosening to the extent that I questioned my existence, I felt empty and unstable. I didn’t understand myself. Each journey so far in my life had determined where I stood but I didn’t know how to repair my wall, no more cement could stand me straight. I was about to collapse when a friend of mine asked me if I would like to go on holiday to East Africa with him, I declined but after some thinking I agreed hoping I’d find the soils to stabilize my wall.

In East Africa I learnt why my parents wall didn’t last so long, why my wall was about to crumble too. I learnt that in each of us there’s a unique code. A code that determines the ingredients of our wall, success is one part of the code but to find this out the other you have to get out your comfort zone, you have got to seek out foreign land and walk on unfamiliar territory.

It was my trip to East Africa that I discovered the second part to this code, the missing ingredient to my wall. It was the East African outdoors, the moisture in the air put back the minerals I was lacking, the eastern wind refreshed my soul and wet my brittle cement while the hot Indian sun hardened it and put those concrete bars into my skeleton that I wasn’t privileged enough to have done at birth. And so I stood strong again.

Now I believe in my parent’s philosophy each person is a wall. We have potential to protect and develop. The way we live, they decisions we make determine the strength, size and stability of our wall. But the way we should live is determined by the second part of our code and to determine this we need to break our boundaries, go where we are vulnerable and see where our wall weakens or where we stand strong.

When my son is 18 I’m sending him up to East Africa and I’ll unclip his wings, I want to see if flies high or back home.

Best answer:

Answer by ms7987ms
Walls don’t grow

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